Anime Defines My Existence

I’ve recently been watching a lot of To Aru Kagaku No Railgun. So much so, I didn’t need to look up how to spell that. And I have on my desktop a post-it of anime and manga that I want to start, that I’m working on, that I’ve finished. I took a screenshot before I went to bed last night and posted it on tumblr. I woke up at 6:00AM this morning and was at a loss of what to do. So I turned on my computer and had the anime/manga post-it staring back at me. And the finished list was looking a little short. I mean, I’ve for sure finished more than the few that were there. And I’m working on a lot more. So I started thinking. I ended up having to split the post-it and give each category its own post-it.

I don’t know why it’s such a hard thing to do, but I can’t remember all the anime and manga that I’ve finished. It shouldn’t be too hard. I wasn’t even aware there was a distinction between that and normal cartoons until about 6th grade. And I didn’t really start getting into it until my sophomore year of high school. That’s not a whole lot of time, from when I first got into it when I was 11 to now. That’s eight years. People who usually visit or read these might expect me to say it’s nostalgic to think back, but it isn’t. I just want to know what I’ve finished.

Anime and manga has always been about conquests to me. Especially after I found more people to talk about it with. “You’ve started that? Yeah I’m working on it right now. It’s pretty good.” “Dude, that series has been done for a while now.” “Yeah I was thinking of starting that one. Is it any good?” And I’ve always thought I was pretty well versed in the otaku world, dare I say. But compiling these lists, while enforcing in my head that I’ve become more so an “otaku”, makes it blatantly clear that I have not watched nearly as much as I remember watching and reading. Or that I simply don’t remember what I’ve finished. And that’s both really comforting and also really sad-making.

For now, it’s all about consolidation. Working on what I know. And my finished list will probably forever be “incomplete”. But, after making myself light-headed thinking of more titles I’ve finished, that doesn’t seem so bad. And despite it’s connotations, I like anime and manga. It’s one of the few candid joys I have. I just hope I haven’t crossed the line from normal to otaku as definitely as I think I have…

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Tags: anime, finish, lists, manga, otaku

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