Archive for May 2009

Remember When…

May 29, 2009

Remember when having an awesome blog just meant changing the title of the page, having a music player, and having an mpeg music video playing somewhere on your page? Remember way back when in 2003? Remember when that was the bar that you needed to meet? Remember when your AIM buddy list was actually running in AOL? Remember Web 1.0, with only simple html was all you needed to make a kick-ass webpage? Remember when flash was considered a complicated way of showing off your web prowess? Remember videopimp.com? Remember when it took forever to download anything that it was considered easier just to buy the thing you pirated? Remember when napster was free? Remember when Windows XP was complicated and streamlined?

For me, those were the sunny days, the carefree days, the days of transition of transition. Oh those halcyonic days… Those indeed were the days.

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Pathological Laziness

May 26, 2009

Hello. It’s me again. And in the homestretch of the final weeks of my first year of college. And what am I doing? Nothing productive, I can say that much. I read through my past. Before I had this one, I had a Xanga and a blogger. Honestly, who didn’t have a xanga way back when? And as I do when I read back my high school days, I thought to myself “Wow, I was a snivelling little asshole”. I’d like to say that it was just the wisdom of maturity that was looking back at my youthful self, but I don’t think I’m old enough to say things like that.

Honestly, I think I don’t handle failure well. Or just bad things that happen to me in general. That’s what I’ve learned reading back on my high school days. These problems of bad grades and failure started long before I even thought of college. Because, well who likes handling stuff that makes us feel like crap? But people do it. The buck up, stop crying, and work harder to prove that they can do better. But I’m too apathetic to do that. I just don’t care. As long as I get by, I get by, and that’s enough for me. At least, most of the time.

I want to succeed and do better, but it’s hard for me to stay motivated with all that drive. If only I could bottle it and just take a sip of it when I need to do something that requires all of my attention. If only.

And this is what annoys me most. I realize this. I know of this problem. I know I should be doing something to fix it. And then I ask for a ridiculous cure for my problem. And nothing ever gets done. It’s a never ending cycle. So I offer this instead.

Dear Alex: Stop being an emo bitch. Get your shit together. Finish something. And make your own happiness.

Feel Good to Fix You

May 21, 2009

I was just doing my lab for Chemistry today, and I had come upon this lovely cover of “Fix You” by Coldplay. (I am a sheep; I followed the Hypster‘s lead and got one.) And I wasn’t really paying attention, only copying the procedure from the manual and for some reason, in a moment of clarity, I picked up the lyrics from the song

When you’re too in love to let it go
But if you never try you’ll never know
Just what you’re worth

And for some reason, I was overwhelmed with happiness at hearing that. I mean granted, I’ve been in a really good mood since probably Thursday night, but just hearing that verse (if you can call it a verse) of that song just made me anxious and unable to even blindly copy the pre-lab homework. Nothing much has changed, I’m still skipping out on some lectures, but there was something that clicked this past week that made it so much more enjoyable. I have an inkling of what it may mean for me, and that’s enough. And that inkling, whether imagined or real, scares me. I guess that’s why I heard those words.

All in all, I’m happy. Happier than I have been in a long time. And I thank you sincerely for it.

Jason Mraz – Geek In the Pink (Live)

May 17, 2009

This might just be my favorite version.

The Little Things I Like

May 1, 2009

The general mood of the past posts is getting a bit depressing, so let me name some of the things I like.

  • I like the feeling threading towels between toes.
  • I like watching anime that make little to no sense.
  • I like listening to acoustic guitar.
  • I like the tingle you get in your fingers when they’re really cold then really hot.
  • I like purposely avoiding homework by playing an unhealthy amount of video games.
  • I like the post-work out endorphins rush.
  • I like dreams that make little sense with large explosions and unexplainable phenomenon in them.
  • I like the Discovery Channel.
  • I like long, interesting online conversations late at night where conventional logic is discarded.
  • I like the weather, as long as I’m not working.
  • I like staying up so late, I’m the only one awake.
  • I like laughing at random happenings that go on at a daily basis.
  • I like my roommate’s random outbreaks of obscure singing.
  • I like old school cartoons from the ’90s of childhood.
  • I like geeking out about everything.

A small list of the things that I enjoy.